tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2898791543093077881.post6226525785943989332..comments2015-11-08T17:18:07.448-05:00Comments on A Place To Be: The Wake Up CallWriterly Wanna Behttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00034679656184476657noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2898791543093077881.post-72887841485308274662011-04-18T22:50:43.593-04:002011-04-18T22:50:43.593-04:00Beautiful!Beautiful!THE SARCASM GODDESShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16701902616479991303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2898791543093077881.post-84415143966982446162011-04-18T22:50:09.027-04:002011-04-18T22:50:09.027-04:00Beautiful. Really enjoyed this. So glad you join...Beautiful. Really enjoyed this. So glad you joined TRDC. Looking forward to more.<br /><br />P.S. when I clicked on your link and your blog came up I was confused for a second because my blog has the same background...thought I was looking at my blog, knew something was different, but couldn't put a finger on it...LOL!THE SARCASM GODDESShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16701902616479991303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2898791543093077881.post-27748236422725459292011-04-16T14:05:07.038-04:002011-04-16T14:05:07.038-04:00BTW, your commenting thingie seems to reject comme...BTW, your commenting thingie seems to reject comments the first time around and then there is word verification the second time. This could be driving away commentors or they could be hit submit and clicking away causing you to lose comments. Just a though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2898791543093077881.post-75344798368458585102011-04-16T14:03:01.460-04:002011-04-16T14:03:01.460-04:00This was a sad but uplifting story. A nice quick r...This was a sad but uplifting story. A nice quick read. My only concrit would be this sentence: "These feelings I was feeling were so hidden, I thought I had hidden the unforgiveness from God." I tripped a little over the double use of the words "feeling" and "hidden". Maybe you could reword it a little?<br />Stopping by from trdc!<br /><br />http://allbtwnthelines.wordpress.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2898791543093077881.post-33109563414549200992011-04-16T07:08:54.677-04:002011-04-16T07:08:54.677-04:00Bravo! Great story. Love the fact that you paused ...Bravo! Great story. Love the fact that you paused with jumping right in. You had her call back. Great job building suspense.<br /><br />There are two sentences that stopped me due to typos....."These feelings I were feeling were so hidden, I thought I had hid the unforgiveness from God. But He was bringing it front and center.<br />Katie asked, "Can I ask....do you know God?"<br /><br />Should be "These feelings I WAS feeling"<br />and "I thought I had HIDDEN"<br />The only other thing I question is overuse of commas but like I said, I only "question" because I am no punctuation expert. Might be a preference thing. I felt a few caused unnecessary pauses.<br /><br />The story was great! Really flowed and felt real. The feelings were spot on and the story sad yet positive. You have a tragedy combined with a lesson and personal growth. Good stuff!<br /><br />Thanks for coming over to my blog and positively critiquing my story as well. I took your advice on word change. Strange. I had such a different impression of the word saunter. I looked it up and was surprised at it's lighter meaning. I went with "trudged". Still not sure if it's the right word but as you stated, fits the mood better.nacherluverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08009387005362252630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2898791543093077881.post-17701309193737547972011-04-15T14:00:55.826-04:002011-04-15T14:00:55.826-04:00What a beautiful story...it brought tears to my ey...What a beautiful story...it brought tears to my eyes!Teresa Kanderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14637414178733769112noreply@blogger.com