Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Turn the Pages

Okay, next try on a prompt. This time it is for memoir. This prompt came from RememRED

“Give me a memory of the color red. Do not write the word 'red' but use words that engender the color red when you hear them."



Mom's gone, only pages to turn of memories keeping her alive.

Dirty faces and knees, giggles that drift in the wind. Simple little sundresses and hair sparkling from the summer sun. Mom stood beside me, wiping the sweat from her face. Her eyes met mine, and then spreading across our faces like jam, our look alike smiles.

My basket had been full, however the juice stained lips, fingers and new strawberry spots dribbling down the front of the yellow dress revealed where the missing berries were now. She didn't mind, it was the catch, it was the process. It was the being together on our summer afternoon, sharing the sun, the field and the sweet scent of the strawberries. She bit the end off of hers, reaching out to my lips she colored my lips with the natural lipstick. I follow suit of course. With our lips sticky we skip to the house, ready to bathe these in cream and sprinkled with sugar.

Turn the page.

Window down, warm breeze whipping in, bringing no comfort. The sand scratches in those in between places where the quick shower didn't reach. My skin is tightening, drying and getting hotter. If I could find comfort I would let my tired eyes close, but I squirm and I wiggle. When we reach the driveway I slide out, the pain is easing in now. We walk in slow motion, almost silent. The water filling the tub is cool to the touch. Mom shakes the box with Mr. Bubble smiling on the cover and the tub becomes a playground. I ease in, and bury myself low.

I walk stiffly into the kitchen, fresh, clean and glowing like the tip of a matchstick. Everywhere the elastic from the nightgown rubs I feel the pain. I move and it stings. I look on the table and see she has it ready. Tea cooled and ready to take the sting. Her touch is gentle as the brown stained cottonball touches me and pulls the pain from my hot buring skin. She reminds me by morning it will be better. A little more comfortable I find my head in her lap, eyes closed and the television sounds somewhere in the background.

Turn the page.

Our little secret. A small glass of burgundy, Manishevitz. Sweet, but my face tells you I don't like it. This is mom's doctoring when the cold is coming on.

Turn the page

The cancer had changed her now. Chemo made her old. I would bring the dinner, and her face lit up when I walked in. How long? She would make it through dinner, small bites.Tomato sauce on her white tshirt and she manages a smile, "you can't take me anywhere".  I hang on as she tries to walk. A year ago she was dancing. Just a year. We would climb into her bed together...just like when I was her baby. On her bed the quilt stitched with crimson hearts would envelop us both. Safe and together. Simple and precious, time. Cuddle close and remember.

Keep turning the pages....keep turning the pages. Keeping her alive with the memories.

Author note on this task: It was really tough for me to come up with a selection to write with the color red. So, I put a few together to try to create a piece. I must admit I like it a little more than when I started on Friday...but this is an unfinished piece for sure. I am loving the exercise the prompts are given me as a writer. I feel that hunger for writing coming to life again. I would really like some feedback to help me out. Even though I am new here...let me have it! I did spend some time first reading some of your previous memoirs, this is not a genre I wrote much in.

20 comments:

  1. The imagery and emotion were so strong in this post.

    I'm sure this was hard to write, I'm glad that you did and hope that there was some solace in writing these memories down.

    I loved these lines from the beginning: "Dirty faces and knees, giggles that drift in the wind. Simple little sundresses and hair sparkling from the summer sun." because I could see them right in front of my eyes!

    Thanks for sharing so much here!

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  2. Great job with the prompt! The images you created were vivid.

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  3. i am crying. this was very pretty, I loved the pictures, my favorite about coloring your lips with strawberries. moms are so great, when i read this I hope i can be the mom my children would write so fondly of.

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  4. I loved this. I definitely got where you were going and I thought it was beautiful.

    A simple thing, but you should put a space between your paragraphs. It makes it so much harder to read when they are sandwiched together. Also, on the "turn the page" part I think I would have italicized that to make it stand out as something different.

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  5. Jennifer,
    Thanks for the advice, I took it and you were right! It "looks" better.

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  6. i loved it. the final part about snuggling under the quilt and the description of the crimson hearts really got to me, it made me feel you agnst at her not being there. i so hope my kids write one day like this about me. defo keep writing its lovely x

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  7. I love this and they way it is written. I'm new to this site as well, only about 5 weeks. I just love this, and I can't really think of any suggestions. I just love it!

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  8. Beautiful...many a sunburn was just brought back. God bless...

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  9. I agree with Galit. And seeing that segment as a separate piece in the comments really made me go back and look again. Such a vivid description. Nicely done. Looking back isn't always easy.

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  10. I really like the imagery you used, very descriptive and lovely throughout.

    I guess my one thing would be the use of the line "turn the page." I don't think you need it. Even just a line of a few *** between each vignette would work.

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  11. I enjoyed the visual and mental breaks between each paragraph (that suggestion was on the nail!). It really evokes the sensation of paging through a picture album or scrapbook.

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  12. I'm new too, but I've already found the ones that I'm drawn to for their clarity, and yours is one.
    It had me remembering every horrible sunburn .. LOL! Thank God for moms.
    I agree with the "turn the page" bit; maybe find a way to get to the next page without actually stating it separately. "Life chapters, aging with a simple flip of a page .." something. - But that probably didn't help.
    Overall, beautiful. Simply beautiful.

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  13. You did an amazing job with this prompt. You're an incredible writer and I am anxious to read more. Thank you! xo

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  14. Great! I loved them...made me cry. I could definitely picture it all in my head as I read. I got the same feeling of flipping pages through a photo album and hearing stories about the pictures. Keep 'em coming!

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  15. Great! I loved them...made me cry. I could really picture it all as I read. It also made me feel as though I was looking through a photo album and listening to stories about the pictures. I enjoy reading your blogs. Keep 'em coming!

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  16. I am crying now, thanks! =)
    Your words of imagery were so beautiful they touched me!

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  17. I remember this prompt. You did a lovely job with it. I really like how you convey the mother's love and care and slowly shift it to you providing the care and love for her.
    I found the phrase about your look alike smiles so endearing.

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  18. I feel it, I love it. The page-turning into different scenes of a life. This is great.

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  19. Mother daughter relationships are precious. thanks for sharing your memories. Thanks for being brave enough to go there. its hard for me to go there.

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  20. How beautiful, Terry. Each scene brought a flood of emotion. I want nothing more than to hug my mom right now. Thank you so much for sharing such a lovely piece.

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I would love to have some feedback. Let me know what you love...and let me know what you don't.