Thursday, June 16, 2011

Beauty is Not Always Enough

Physical beauty.

It can open doors - and can also shut them.

Write a scene in which a physically beautiful character is somehow impacted by that trait.

Staring eyes were mesmerized as her feet hit the sand. Feminine, that hold you captive, hair flowing and the kind of body you find on covers of magazine.  She scanned the beach, a routine she knew well…east and west. And she spotted him. A masculine beauty that matched hers.

She walked closer to make sure. No ring. No additional towel or baggage nearby. And her closer look revealed his chiseled tan body and she wondered about the eyes that lie beneath the glasses. His head shifted in her direction and she smiled the smile. He turned away.

A little surprised by this action, new to her, she assumed he was a little shy. She positioned herself perfectly in his direct line and began the disrobing. She kicked each sandal off. The shorts she shimmied left and right, her hips moving with the action. Not too quick. Not too slow.  She unbuttoned one at a time, a little slower action now. And pulled the sleeves with purposeful movements, and revealed her bikini. Her dance continued like a bird…wings moving, eyes averting, a smile just gentle on her lips. Out came the oil, and she began to spread it across her abdomen…arms and legs. She would look and catch his eyes in her direction. 

Her confidence was dwindling though. He would turn away. He was looking at other sites, and didn’t seem drawn to her.  She lay back and began to imagine all the reasons why he must be ignoring her.

Recent breakup and his heart still hurting?

Actually in love and faithful…hmmm.

 Doesn't like women?  No way.

His girlfriend is meeting him and doesn’t want to get caught.

She glanced back and again, and she thought she saw him peeking. I do think that’s it. Well, I can take care of that.

She went down to the water and gracefully flirted with the waves, toes in.  Then dove in deeper and deeper. She swam with the grace of a ballerina. She fought the current to stay in his vision.

Then with the mindset of a snake, she methodically walked back to her towel. Using every inch of her body to entice.

But she slithered onto the towel, wanting to bury her head in the sand. He wasn’t biting. No reaction. No smile. No introductions. So she lay back and let the sun burn away the broken pride.

Not long after her thoughts were interrupted by conversation. She could hear a female voice. She was right…a girlfriend. But the conversation was quick and then gone. She didn’t look up, no need for reminders.

Then she heard steps in the sand…and there were more than two. Walking towards her.

Suddenly a wet nose nuzzled into her neck and she jumped and shouted…and found herself looking into the eyes of a German Shepherd. Her eyes followed…nose…to collar…to leash….to HIM!

And all the facts came tumbling in. BLIND!

His words came smooth and inviting, “ Hi there…I have been wanting to get over here for a while now”…and he motioned with his head to the dog. “I needed my guide.”

“Over here?” her words whispered out with some effort.

“Um yeah…you see, us blind guys…we have quite the sense of hearing.  And by the reactions of the guys around me…and the girls with them. ..I take it you are a real beauty. “

She blushed…immediately realizing, he wouldn’t see. She found for the first time…she was going to have to let him see the beauty from within.

Now this is going to be a challenge……


  1. Ha! I like it! Nice hook at the end - very surprising.

  2. I certainly didn't see that coming. I was into the story, wanting to know why he wasn't biting. I thought you did a good job of describing her attempts to flirt. Enjoyed visiting here! :)

  3. Love! So sexy, so evocative and completely fabulous twist!

    I adored how you added in the detail of others' reactions to her- very powerful and grounding!

  4. That was a really fun story with a nice twist. Thanks so much for sharing it!

  5. Liked the hook as well. Although somehow I kind of feel she almost didn't deserve to get his attention in the end. ;)

    Thanks for a good read. :)

  6. Didn't see that end coming--great surprise. Loved the little bird dance bit. Well done.

  7. HaHA nice surprise at the end. Couple of questions: Would a working dog actually nuzzle up to a stranger? Would she have heard all the whistling going on around her? That, I think, would add more to this great picture you've painted. Third--Where was his guide dog while she was trying to attact him? I would put that guide dog in a harnass rather than on a leash and somehow keep him out of her view while letting him stay with the man. Very nicely done. I loved her inner dialogue, her self-confidence faltering. Nicely done!

  8. i love how you described her internal dialogue and what a surprise she got when she figured out why her feminine wiles weren't working.

  9. @NC Narrator
    NC...thanks, I wasn't sure if I did it well enough. Glad it worked!

  10. I loved the twist at the end too!

    And I love how she realizes she will have to rely on her inner beauty this time-probably something she's never had to do before.

    Well done!

  11. @lori
    Thanks for the compliments...glad I hooked you in, what a compliment to a writer!

  12. @Galit Breen
    As always a comment from Galit leaves me smiling. Glad you liked the twist!

  13. @Karen Peterson
    Thanks...all week I was coming up blank and didn't think I would post. When the idea came and I started writing, it was fun to work with. So, thanks, glad you had fun reading!

  14. @Vikki @ She Has Cute Shoes!
    Thanks...she probably didn't. But I had that idea I wanted to get across and I didn't come up with another way. Glad you liked the hook. Thanks for your comment!

  15. @vinobaby
    Glad I surprised you too! Also, glad you caught the bird dance. Thanks for your comments!

  16. @Kelly Garriott Waite
    Thanks for your compliments...and your questions.
    You are probably right about the working dog...I guess I wasn't creating a very accurate picture, having too much fun with it. So, the nose and the leash wouldn't fit. As far as where was the dog earlier..without saying it, the girls voice she heard (his assistant or something???) brought the dog to him, I figured the dog didn't need to be on the beach. But again, not realistic.
    As far as the whistling...I guess in my mind's eye I wasn't imagining whistling...just whispered conversation.
    Thanks again, thoughtful comments!

  17. @Jenna

    Thanks Jenna! I really had a lot of fun writing this, after the discussion on the heavy writing and lighter side I tried to go lighter and have some fun. Not quite funny...but maybe one day!

  18. @Valerie
    Thanks for leaving a comment. I am really happy this twist worked... and that it wasn't too cheesy. As someone else mentioned, I know I moved from realistic, but it really was fun!

  19. Oh, I love the twist at the end!
    This is great! I want to hear how their story continues...

  20. great ending! I'm glad her inner beauty seems to match her outer and she isn't totally shallow.

    visiting from RDC

  21. I also would be very interested to see how it goes for them. Particularly for her, without her finest weapon.

  22. Loved it =) Especially that she would still be able to rely on her inner beauty --- I was getting scared that she was just... a bit vain, you know. Anyway... Loved how you wrote this, I wouldn't have realized how it ended even though it was logical, haha. Well done ^__^

  23. Oh! Nicely done! Great visuals, wonderful twist and a thoughtful wrap up. I think you are more than a wanna-be!

  24. I did guess he was blind when he didn't even look at her coming out of the water. What man could resist such a beauty as you described?

    I loved that in the end she was going to have to finally look at her inner beauty and live out of that instead of her outer beauty.

  25. You did a great job with that prompt!

  26. Oh that was awesome! LOVED the twist and then the realization that all her games would need to be put away and she'd have to prove herself beautiful.

    Great take on the prompt!!


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