Friday, April 22, 2011

Letter of Complaint

An interesting prompt this week from .
 Can be written as non-fiction from your point of view or fiction from your character's point of view. It is to "write a formal complaint letter to your deepest, darkest fear."
I went with a fictional character. I had fun with it, but I don't feel like this really had my writing mojo going!

Thief of Youth
Old Age Street
Ancient City, Old World


Dear Thief of Youth,
Please allow this letter to serve as my complaint of unfair treatment against a young, vibrant woman against the Department of Old Age. I have contacted your department by prayer and email and have received no response.
My complaint of unfair treatment includes the following:
  • I am a 35 year old beautiful woman and I noticed while looking in the mirror I have lines appearing around my mouth. I have moisturized and spent lots of money on specific products since turning 21 and I should not be seeing these signs at such an early age.
  • My body shape is changing despite my hours of exercise at the gym and my carefully planned diet for daily eating. I count my calories, fat grams and consistently meet with a dietitian.
  • I am noticing when I read material I have to move it closer and closer to my face. I should not have to place glasses on my striking face, not even for reading.
  • During my last doctor visit, there were discussions about cholesterol, fish oil, blood pressure and signs to be mindful of for heart disease. These should not be topics of discussion, I am a long way from any sickness of the aged.
  • One of my children mentioned the desire to have a grandma? Um, no, I don't think so!
  • I had to pluck several gray hairs from my head. If I have to I will dye my hair. However I take pride in my natural beauty, and this goes against the very depths of my soul.
So please allow me to explain this further. I am not getting old, and you have no business messing with my life. I know and have seen what happens next. I will not be old, forgetful and sedentary. I work in a nursing home, I take care of these people. I will not go there, I will not take on this life. I have nightmares about the future you are starting. It is not my time. I will remain young, active and beautiful.
I want you to know I am being represented by counsel in the above referenced matter. After reviewing this letter, please contact my attorney so that appropriate action will be taken.


Veronica Astound                                                                    April 21, 2011

Youth & Associates, LLC
“Keeping People Alive and Young”


  1. This absolutely made me grin! I love all the extra touches you put into it, the addresses and phone numbers for the attorney. Hope you win because maybe we can take it class action!

  2. Mel...I think that is why I had fun with this. I do not usually use much humor in my writing, it is fun to try on different writing voices. For that alone it was a good exercise!

  3. I love this! Can I obtain your attorneys when your case is over? As I would ike to file all those same complaints minus the children expressing the want of children of their own as they are only 2 and 3!

    So wonderfully done!

  4. Very fun! I shared your sentiment: "me a grandma? Um, no, I don't think so!" but my daughter went ahead and had a baby anyways. He is now two and I am loving being a young Grammie!

  5. I love the bullet points and the specific details- all good signs of a formal complaint!

    And yes, you're right- our youth is stolen so quickly!

  6. well done and very formal!! :)

  7. Thank you ladies...this fictional character is a bit removed from the real me. I tend to go opposite on my characters. I LOVE being a grandma and I want MORE!

  8. well done ;) Well written, I identified with a lot of it.


I would love to have some feedback. Let me know what you love...and let me know what you don't.