Friday, April 22, 2011

Letter of Complaint

An interesting prompt this week from http://thereddressclub.blogspot.com/ .
 Can be written as non-fiction from your point of view or fiction from your character's point of view. It is to "write a formal complaint letter to your deepest, darkest fear."
I went with a fictional character. I had fun with it, but I don't feel like this really had my writing mojo going!




Thief of Youth
Old Age Street
Ancient City, Old World

RE: COMPLAINT OF UNFAIR TREATMENT
COMPLAITANT v. DEPARTMENT OF OLD AGE



Dear Thief of Youth,
Please allow this letter to serve as my complaint of unfair treatment against a young, vibrant woman against the Department of Old Age. I have contacted your department by prayer and email and have received no response.
My complaint of unfair treatment includes the following:
  • I am a 35 year old beautiful woman and I noticed while looking in the mirror I have lines appearing around my mouth. I have moisturized and spent lots of money on specific products since turning 21 and I should not be seeing these signs at such an early age.
  • My body shape is changing despite my hours of exercise at the gym and my carefully planned diet for daily eating. I count my calories, fat grams and consistently meet with a dietitian.
  • I am noticing when I read material I have to move it closer and closer to my face. I should not have to place glasses on my striking face, not even for reading.
  • During my last doctor visit, there were discussions about cholesterol, fish oil, blood pressure and signs to be mindful of for heart disease. These should not be topics of discussion, I am a long way from any sickness of the aged.
  • One of my children mentioned the desire to have children...me a grandma? Um, no, I don't think so!
  • I had to pluck several gray hairs from my head. If I have to I will dye my hair. However I take pride in my natural beauty, and this goes against the very depths of my soul.
So please allow me to explain this further. I am not getting old, and you have no business messing with my life. I know and have seen what happens next. I will not be old, forgetful and sedentary. I work in a nursing home, I take care of these people. I will not go there, I will not take on this life. I have nightmares about the future you are starting. It is not my time. I will remain young, active and beautiful.
I want you to know I am being represented by counsel in the above referenced matter. After reviewing this letter, please contact my attorney so that appropriate action will be taken.

Sincerely,

Veronica Astound                                                                    April 21, 2011



_________________________
Youth & Associates, LLC
1-800-KEEPUSYOUNG
“Keeping People Alive and Young”

8 comments:

  1. This absolutely made me grin! I love all the extra touches you put into it, the addresses and phone numbers for the attorney. Hope you win because maybe we can take it class action!

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  2. Mel...I think that is why I had fun with this. I do not usually use much humor in my writing, it is fun to try on different writing voices. For that alone it was a good exercise!

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  3. I love this! Can I obtain your attorneys when your case is over? As I would ike to file all those same complaints minus the children expressing the want of children of their own as they are only 2 and 3!

    So wonderfully done!

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  4. Very fun! I shared your sentiment: "me a grandma? Um, no, I don't think so!" but my daughter went ahead and had a baby anyways. He is now two and I am loving being a young Grammie!

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  5. I love the bullet points and the specific details- all good signs of a formal complaint!

    And yes, you're right- our youth is stolen so quickly!

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  6. well done and very formal!! :)

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  7. Thank you ladies...this fictional character is a bit removed from the real me. I tend to go opposite on my characters. I LOVE being a grandma and I want MORE!

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  8. well done ;) Well written, I identified with a lot of it.

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I would love to have some feedback. Let me know what you love...and let me know what you don't.