Tuesday, May 3, 2011

With a Vengeance

I am writing this piece in response to a prompt on The Red Dress Club.This week we were asked to tell a story of a time when we were proud, without any trivialization or modesty.

Little girls have dreams to be all kinds of things...mine was to be a teacher. The dream drifted here and there, some other ideas poked in, but I always returned to that same dream. When I grow up, I am going to be a teacher.

Then senior year in high school I found myself pregnant and getting married. The dream went to the shelf, and I lived another dream of being mommy. And again... mommy. Again... mommy. And yes, one more time Mommy. When my last little guy was about three I pulled that lost and dusty dream from the shelf and began the plan to make it happen.

It wasn't easy, four little ones at home, part time jobs and married to an addict. But the dream to teach grew, but now I could envision the dream into a reality.

When I finally finished my degree, I prepared the best portfolio I could and headed out for the interview process. Interview after interview, no calls, no job. I put myself on  two county lists and began substituting. My confidence grew with all the compliments I received as I walked into unknown classrooms, I would have a job soon.

Finally, a call came...they asked me to come down and sign the papers, I had a job. My smile could not have been brighter, my heart pumping, I floated from the school I was subbing at that day, my little girl dream would come true.

As  I walked into the office I could feel the tension of the secretary who knew me well. She said, "There's been a change. I am sorry." When I asked to speak to the principal he would not come out. Questions flew through my mind, my heart was broken, and as I thought of all the other interviews that seemed so positive, my mind was reeling.

The following day I returned to substitute teaching. The principal was surprised to see me. I shared the story with him and he invited me in his office. A few questions revealed the problem. A story too long to tell here, led to my arrest during those years of schooling. Another consequence of being married to an addict. The principal's words to me that day, "you will never be hired. And they will never explain why." Those words wiped out all my plans, all my hard work and left me devastated, my dream drifting away.

I wondered if I should quit. Should I look for another dream to follow?  But I didn't, I couldn't. I worked harder. I set out with a vengeance to change that outcome.

And I did. It took about another year, but the same man who said they will never hire you, did hire me.

Three years later I stood in a staff celebration in a place of honor. I was nominated teacher of the year. As he read the words colleagues had wrote about me, I thought of the struggle I had worked through. I thought of the dream of a little girl that I wouldn't let go of. I thought of the teacher I had become through that struggle, and the joy teaching gives me every day. Not only was I a teacher...but I was a good one, and people saw that.
Moments later the pride I felt erupted within me...the announcement was made, I was the teacher of the year.


  1. Amazing story. I love your tenacity and courage. Your story is inspiring - not only to those who want to become teachers, but also to those who are in relationships with those addicted.
    Congratulations on teacher of the year!

  2. What a long journey to fulfilling your dream.
    Congratulations to you!

  3. That was a fantastic story! Loved it :)

  4. Oh My GOd I'm crying!
    I can't even tell you how proud I am of you!!!! You are amazing! I tried to avoid exactly what you went through when I became pregnant as a senior in high school (You HAVE to GO read my post for this link!):
    I went to college to be a teacher, but I couldn't get over the pain of not having my child. I made the decision to be a stay at home mom after several years of teaching .... and here I am still.

    Oy, Life!

    I am SOOOooooo happy for you that you were hired by that administrator. You deserve soooo much!

  5. There are many beautiful stories on the list, one more inspiring than the other, but yours takes first place.

    I don't know you but I know how a past can be an impediment to the future. Very few people can work through that and you did!

  6. This made me want to cry!! *pat on the back*

  7. So glad for your students that you stuck it out!

  8. Awesome post and thank God you persevered to be able to help those little people develop.

  9. I never expected to receive the comments I did...thank you all so much. I really feel teaching is a field you are called into...and I believe I had the call. God receives all the glory here...so thankful he was my strength. Thank you all so much, you each increased my pride and my faith.

  10. wow. so glad you kept going. your kids, the ones you gave birth to, and the ones you teach must be lucky!

  11. I think this is very inspirational. It encourages me that I can (God can) make my dreams come true. I am following my calling and at times it is frustrating because I feel as thoug I'm up against a wall. Thanks for sharing your story.


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