This week's RemembeRED prompt was to write about a time something seemingly terrible happened, but looking back, it brought something wonderful.
I hung on, claws in. The darkness surrounding me was hidden somehow. It must have been the small pieces of light within it. The children. My faith. My hope. My belief.
Seventeen years, married to an alcholic and addict. I was determined to make it work. Forgiveness, time after time.
Then finally, a year of sobriety. I learned what life was like, after seventeen years, I knew what a drug and alcohol free life was like. I saw victory, my hope that I held out for.
A year...only a year. Just a glimpse.
Then it returned again. This time the darkness was visible. The heaviness on my heart was unbearable. The little pieces of light were no longer enough.
The fight was gone, the claws retreated. Defense down.
The pain of release of the hope and belief. The fear stifling.
But it is only from the view I have now where I can see it all clearly. Those years molded me, strengthened me, and made me who I am. Standing here in the light, I can see those dark times for what they were. Here I am happy and whole. Strong and focused. Wise and compassionate. Healed.and happy.