Friday, July 8, 2011

The Ocean Princess and Her Sentry

This is a prompt from The Red Dress Club. For this week, take what you know out of your comfort zone. Try a new genre, a new time period, a geography you’ve only dreamed of, fantasy or historical instead of contemporary fiction, try the male POV if you usually write women. Or
vice versa. Switch it up. See where it takes you.       

Author's Note: This was done quick...I accepted a challenge from a fellow blogger to just give it a try. I dedicate this to my daughter and her friend, who seem to have a fascination. So, with little knowledge or know how, here is my silly attempt at Fantasy. Have at it with the concrit. I am ready!

Caitlyn stared at the table in the cafeteria surrounded by boys. Her eyes settled on her, the new girl. What was it? Since she had walked through the door, all their heads turned, and she drew them in like fish to the best bait. And every day the scene in the cafeteria was the same, they swam to her, and seemed to be bound by a spell in her presence.

Each day Caitlyn got closer to her, trying to find what was different about her beauty. The hair was long, and thick, with just enough wave. Her eyes seemed to sparkle with a marble like pattern of multi-colors. Her smile revealed perfect teeth, and the laughter that fell through those lips was like a song.

Caitlyn wasn't figuring anything out from this distance, she would need to get closer. They were in the same class next period, she would check the current and maybe attempt to break through into a conversation. No other girl had seemed to attempt this as of yet.

Caitlyn settled into a seat beside her, having to practically push one of the guys out of the way to get there. Luckily he felt clumsy enough not to argue in front of her and relented.

"Hi...I am Caitlyn."

Her sparkling eyes took me in, it was if she was swimming in my head and measuring me in this moment. A bit of distrust and fear seemed to be hidden just beneath the surface.

"Pallea," she responded simply and put her hand out into mine.

Caitlyn's eyed the first imperfection...her skin. Dry...was that chapped? It almost looked like scales. She slipped it back quickly covering her hands nervously and hid them back below her waist.

"So, what brings you to Sandy Isle?"

"The ocean, " Pallea answers and that haunting musical giggle bubbles out.

Caitlyn turned to focus on the teacher, she felt like she wasn't going to get anywhere least not here in class.

That afternoon Caitlyn looks for Pallea in the parking lot, unsure how she got to and from school. But when she saw the school of boys drenched in her aura... she knew she was headed her way.

Caitlyn sat in her car questioning her own motives. Why was this girl so intriguing to her? Caitlyn has always been fine as a loner…but now she just could not shake the curiosity this girl seemed to have charged her with. Her plan was to follow her.

Pallea finally removed herself from the boys and dipped herself into a little blue Bug. A surfboard was secured to the top and as Caitlyn followed behind she knew they were headed toward the ocean.

Caitlyn watched in awe of her skills on that board from a distance. She saw her face glisten in the sun, and as she was tossed off the board and into the sea, she seemed unaffected, swimming like a dolphin, soaring with the waves. At times Caitlyn thought she rose above the waves. She was one with the ocean.

Over and over she would ride, swim, and dive. Never tiring.  Always smiling. Alone.

Caitlyn still unsure of her own captivity to these observations sat still, focused, and enthralled. For a moment, she understood the boys. Wondering if that touch this afternoon had released some spell.    

Caitlyn knew the sun was beginning to settle into its evening position.  But both remained in their roles, the ocean princess and her sentry.

As the moon rose into the dark sky, Pallea began to swim towards shore. Now the only ones on the beach, Caitlyn found a spot more hidden from view behind a beam on the pier.

Caitlyn’s gasp almost audible escaped from her lips as she watched Pallea’s feet hit the sand. Her skin….the dry chapped skin…now glistened like jewels in the streams of light from the full moon. And as she walked toward the rocks, a sound unearthly was resonating from deep within Pallea. It was as if she was calling. To whom? To what?

Pallea still sparkling, still singing…climbed up on the rock. Her eyes out to the sea. But Caitlyn’s eyes were locked. Her mouth hung open. A chill rose up from the sand, as an ocean breeze caught up to her.

Pallea turned, and saw her. And her eyes cast down to herself. Realizing, Caitlyn knew. She has seen her tail.


  1. I forgot to mention visiting from LBS tea party

  2. Very well written, I loved it! Kinda hoping you might continue the story. I bet my daughter would really love it. Visiting from LBS

  3. I'm also visiting from the LBS tea party. Wow! A mighty fine quick attempt. I love it. Thanks for sharing it with us.

  4. This was a fun read, the surfing the texture of her skin, the eerie call on the sand--I like your take on the mermaid myth.

    I felt like maybe you weren't entirely confortable with the tense, you switched to present at one point--I actually like the present tense. It lends an immediacy and tension that past tense sometimes doesn't have.

    I'm enjoying the heck out of all the RDC entries, and watching everyone stretch into new parts of their imagination. So glad I came by!

  5. I really enjoyed and wondered where you were going with the chapped skin. Awesome ending! Glad you took the challenge.

  6. I love this! What a fun stretch- and I absolutely adore all of the after words and references that you used to push the story and magic along!

    This story had legs- would love to see a continuation!

  7. Stopping by from LBSTP. What a lovely blog you have. Great word-crafting.


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